HEALTH - Crimewave [Crystal Castles vs. Health]

Saw Crystal Castles this weekend, Alice Glass stepped on my face, and now I can die happy.

I fought tooth n nail to be this close, specifically so she’d step on crowd surf over me.  I have never seen so many violent bros fightin to touch her ass support her crowd surfing, srsly.  Fortunately Alice Glass spent exactly 60% of the show crowd surfing around, so there was ample opportunity for all.  I had these two dudes twice my size who spent the entire show trying to trip, grope, throw me down and stomp my face in so they could be 12 inches closer.  I was one row of underagers away from the stage, making these broseph’s fruitless struggle all the more puzzling.  And here I thought the short tweens bitching at me when I plowed ahead of them during Pictureplanes were bad enough.

Tween: “Wait, wait Crystal Castles aren’t up now? There’s another opener…?!”     

Yes Pictureplane was a surprise opener added last minute, followed by HEALTH, it was a real rough lineup of openers…

Tween: “HEALTH, more like…HEALTHcare.”

Yes.  These are the kind of people that attend Crystal Castles shows.

Seeing Pictureplane was a totally unexpected bonus, and HEALTH was awesome live, especially actually having room to dance around a bit while they played.  Their bassist has hair down to his thighs, and has perfected a perpetual long haired head roll while playing.  It was a hypnotizing brown haired ring of power. 

Crystal Castles live was everything I expected plus some gratuitous crowd violence to boot.  My partner in crime was disappointed he got shoved out early in and was robbed of his god given right to get karate chopped in the face.  Be prepared to fight for your life.